Two From the Heart, by James Patterson, Frank Costantini, Emily Raymond, and Brian Sitts

Two From the Heart, by James Patterson, Frank Costantini, Emily Raymond, and Brian Sitts

This book has a very different format. It’s neither a full novel, nor a collection of short stories, but rather two novellas only hooked together by the cover of the book.  Ok, granted both are sorta love stories.  Although I’d characterize the first one, “Tell Me Your Best Story,” as more of a travel log and the second “Write Me A Life,” as an adventure, with elements of science fiction.  But, as odd as it may seem, there are intersections and tangents that connect the two.

Both are written in James Patterson’s breezy style of straight forward prose, which I like because I’m a simple guy, with simple tastes and not looking for an author who’s main point is he’s smarter than I am.  Once a writer starts his tangle of jagged almost incomprehensible babble, I lose the thread and go from reader to fly swatter.

Fortunately, Two From the Heart is very readable and a quick read at that. Call it a weekend book and even then you can read it all and still take Sunday off.

Patterson’s co-writer on Tell Me Your Best Story, is Emily Raymond and it’s definitely written with the tender sex in mind.  Soft morning sun. Edges only as sharp as the smoothest of river rocks.  It’s all so very moving and sweet as autumn cherries.  If there are touches of sandpaper, it’s 3000 grit and gentle enough to sooth the rash on a baby’s round little rump.  Harsh words?  Perish the thought.  Hard nose dilemmas?  Sure.  Should I stir the cream in my coffee?  What a nail biting decision.  There is sweet sadness, but please don’t worry.  Oh, the tension!

So, I didn’t like it?  Yes, matter of fact I did like it. It’s wrapped around a trip and one we’ve all thought about taking, visiting old friends and meeting new ones.   The book reads like having a series of amiable chats with old girlfriends, without scars and threats of violence.  Definitely written with a woman’s voice. And yet there is something intriguing about reforming your life that makes you wonder if you could.

Write Me A Life, on the other hand, is written by Patterson, of course, plus Frank Costantini and Brian Sitts and definitely has the smell of engine oil, beer and cigars.  But, rather than a gentle rowing across a placid pond, this novella features a unique plot, constant suspense, and memorable characters.  Yes, there are even some attitudes and clarion calls for romance between men and women.  What if someone wrote you a life and had the hutzpah to carry it off?  Interesting concept.  You go to a novelist and say, my life is a very successful bowl of blah.  I don’t care what it costs, just make it happen.

Makes me think it’s really possible to do, but not easy to do.  Take so many of my friends, for example.  Past middle age. Retired.  Married.  Children. Grandchildren.   What would you do to change your life?  I mean really change it.  Not just try for the umpteenth time promising yourself to lose those 30 pounds, or take a cruise to wherever.  I’m talking about changing your FREAKING LIFE!  How about creating a whole new life, without divorcing your entire family?  Write a novel? Maybe hire a personal trainer and cook?  Buy a motorcycle and drive across the country just to meet new people and see what opportunities abound?  Go to France for half a year to write that novel and learn French?  Start a business?  The possibilities are endless.

And now do you see how the two tales in this book are similar?  The characters in both stories are jumping into the roaring waves of discovery and letting the tide of life take them places they’ve never been.

You start to read this James Patterson et al book and you kinda, sorta like it, but it seems to be going at a slow, loping pace.  Then you hit the second tale and the pedal goes to the metal.  You read the last page and not long afterwards you start to ponder. Any book that leads you to ponder your life and its possibilities, is a good book.  This good book sneaks up on you as many of James Patterson’s books do.  It’s all the better for it.