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| A view of Zellertal |
An olive oil festival in the tiny village of Zellertal, on a
high hill in the midst of wine country?
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when the wine merchants and
village elders sat around, downing schnapps shooters and playing ‘who’s got the
dumbest idea?”
“We need to
have a fest.”
“Why?”
“Every podunk in the entire country
has a fest! That’s why!”
“Maybe a wine fest?”
Heads shaking around the table. Someone pipes up. “Too damn many wine fests already. We need something….well, I don’t
know….something…”
“How ‘bout a
bicycle fest?”
Murmurs of disapproval.
“We live on top of a mountain! What’s the crowd going to look like? Five
sweaty guys with legs like fence posts?”
“Chicken
plucking festival?”
“Dirt
scattering fest?”
“I think
you’re on to something.”
From the far
corner: “Yeah, drugs.”
“I know, I
know…,” a big smile, “Olive oil fest!” A
dead silence descends. Pondering
continues, the silence broken on by the clink of a bottle on the rims of
schnapps glasses.
“Olive oil
fest?”
“Why not?”
“We don’t
grow olives is the main drawback.”
Enthusiasm
brews. “We could serve fish!”
“I know
there’s a point you’re trying to make, but it escapes me at present.”
“We could
import the oil.”
Pent up
sarcasm. “And afterwards, when we’re stuck with a few dozen leftover barrels?”
“We have a fish fry.”
“Yeah, we
could empty the whole North Sea.”
“Very
funny.”
“Ok how about
a Tibetan music fest?”
“Holy mother
of Bacchus, you guys are getting further off track than a blind tour guide in
the Sahara.”
“Let’s do
all three!” Another round of schnapps
magically appears and suddenly it all makes sense. An olive oil festival at a tiny hilltop
village in Germany, where no olive oil is produced, hundreds of miles from the
sea, and surrounded by acres and acres of vineyards, serving fish, and musical
entertainment with Tibetan chants.
Leave it to the wine merchants and city elders of Zellertal
to think outside the barrel! So far,
none have been arrested for hallucinogens.
.
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| Tins of Spanish Olive Oil |
So what happened? The
fest has grown every year! Last weekend,
crowds filled the streets. Long lines queued for wine, beer and fish. Cars filled every two-lane highway leading to
town, and traffic wardens earned enough money to buy vacation homes where the
weather is warm and olive trees grow in the yard. Turns out the merchants and elders weren’t so
dumb after all!
Tents sold everything imaginable, including oil from Spain
(world’s largest producer), Italy (world’s largest importer/exporter), Greece
and Turkey, numbers three and four and Morocco, number eight. There may have been more, but my curiosity was
kicked aside by an overriding thirst for some juice of the grape. A chilled Portugieser rosé was just the
thing. Hey, this is wine country!
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| Portugieser Grapes |
Here’s a question for you:
besides cooking, salad dressing, and naked wrestling, what else is olive
oil used for? Chapped lips, hand
moisturizer, mix with cat food to eliminate hairballs, rub into dry hair to
control frizz.
How about hair growth, as in curing hair loss? I’m kidding right? Nope. (http://www.md-health.com/Olive-Oil-For-Hair-Growth.html) According to this article, hair loss is
caused by the hormone dihydrotestosterone (DHT) and the production of that
hormone is hampered by the application of olive oil to the scalp. What’s the procedure? you ask. Rub a small amount of olive oil into your
scalp and through the hair. Cover your
hair for about 30 minutes, then shampoo and condition normally.
How about exfoliating your hands and making them look young
again? Coat your hands with oil,
sprinkle them generously with salt (coarse salt works best), and go through the
normal hand washing motions for about a minute.
Wash your hands with soap and water, then apply a bit more olive oil, or
your favorite hand lotion.
I mentioned fish and Tibetan music. The fish came pickled, fried, or smoked, in
sandwiches, or on the plate, with rolls or a couple of choices of potato
salad. My favorite was fried, with a
generous helping of vinegar based potato salad.
Recipe for the potato salad? Of
course.
A couple of pounds of potatoes, peeled, boiled, then sliced
and allowed to cool.
½ Cup olive oil
3 Tablespoons to ¼ Cup seasoned rice vinegar
Tasty optional additions:
A heaping tablespoon of your favorite mustard, chopped parsley, or
cilantro, chopped green onions.
Mix all the ingredients for the vinaigrette, and toss with
the cooled and sliced potatoes.
Now, how about the Tibetan music? One of the dark and chilly wine caves echoed with
music so darkly mystical as to make you want pull out your voodoo dolls and
drink monkey blood from human skulls.
Photos from Tibet lined the walls and rested proudly on the oak wine
barrels. Yes, I walked through, but
managed to find my way out before slicing my wrists. This was dark! music in a dark! cave. Breaking out into the sunshine was like
escaping from a creaking coffin.
Ate well, drank well, and got into a wonderful conversation
with two German ladies. Yes, my
significant other/ designated driver was by my side. The day was glorious and delicious, but no I
didn’t buy any olive oil.
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