Apple Pie - the way Mom never made it

Apples and spices and light brown sugar

Crust painted with egg white

The Result

Ready for a fork and a cup of coffee

Do I dare blog a recipe for apple pie? Have I lost my mind?  Yes to the first.  Long ago to the second.

Mom’s apple pie had a syrupy feel to it.  You lifted your fork and some of it slid onto the starched tablecloth.  Heavy in sugar.  Ever so slight taste of apples.  Of course, memory fades, so there may not have been any taste of apples.  Matter of fact, I seem to remember a pie called mock apple pie made with Ritz crackers.

I’m here to change all that.  I have a recipe that is environmentally friendly, meaning no fossil fuel was harmed and no slicing and dicing of the atmosphere, other than your heavy breathing, which of course wheezes out carbon dioxide like bad science project.  We need to do something about that and today I’m promoting a “Day Without Breathing.”  If the over 3 billion humans would just go one day without drawing a breath, we could all race our Ferraris around the countryside and still shorten our carbon footprint from 10 1/2 wide to 6 narrow.  Now, I know some of you are incredibly shortsighted and selfish and will cheat and take a breath.  Others will poo-poo the idea simply because plants need CO2 to breathe, hence the expression GREENHOUSE GASES!  I say, a plague on both your greenhouses.  You either want to do something about the environment, or you want all life as we know it to cease, or both.

What’s all that got to do with apples and apple pie?  Did you not pick up the part I previously mentioned about this apple pie being ENIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY?

I don’t plan to explain that, anymore than the EPA explains the word ‘organic.’

“Hank, you want some organic apples?”

“No, Fred, I’ll stick with these inorganic ones made from hand carved marble.”

“I noticed your teeth were shiny…and thin.”

What I'm trying to explain is that we eat too much sugar.  How do I know this?  I am told by very knowledgeable people, whose names I cannot divulge, but whose hair is stiffened by the same shellac I use to finish furniture and whose faces appear regularly on TV.

Also, I like the taste of apples more than I like the taste of sugar.

Deep Dish, Environmentally Friendly Apple Pie

The Crust:

1 1/4 Cups whole-wheat flour

1 1/4 Cups all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

4 Tbsp unsalted butter

1/4 Cup vanilla yogurt

3 Tbsp vegetable oil (I use extra virgin olive oil, although I have never actually met an extra virgin anything)

4-8 Tbsp ice water

I use a food processor, but the crust may also be mixed by hand.  Mix the dry ingredients.  Add the butter and rub it in or lightly mix it in your processor.  Combine the yogurt and oil and mix it in.  Add the first 4 tablespoons of ice water to form a crumbly dough.  If it’s too crumbly, add more tablespoons of ice water until the dough clings together, but isn’t wet.  Divide the dough in half, form into two large hamburger sized patties, cover each with plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for an hour and a half or more.

The Filling:

6 Granny Smith or 8 Macintosh apples, peeled, cored, and thinly sliced

2/3 Cup packed light brown sugar

2 Tbsp lime juice (or substitute lemon juice)

1 1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp ground nutmeg

Pinch of ground allspice

Pinch of salt

2 Tbsp all-purpose flour

1 egg white, beaten with 1 tsp sugar (for brushing the crust)

Combine apples, brown sugar, lime juice, salt, nutmeg, allspice, and cinnamon in a Dutch oven.  Mix well and cook over medium heat until the apples are soft and some of their juice has evaporated.  About 10 minutes.  Remove from heat, stir in the 2 tbsp of flour and allow to cool at least 30 minutes.

Puttin’ it all together:

Pre-heat the oven to 425ºF (220ºC)

Take the dough out of the refrigerator and allow it to come to near room temperature.  Roll out the two crusts, either in rounds or rectangles, depending on which shape pan you’re using.  Line your pan with the first crust, leaving an excess around the sides.

Add the filling and place the second crust over it. Roll or mash the edges of the top and bottom crust together and flute it attractively. 

Paint the crust with the egg white-sugar mixture.  The crust should be glistening, but not pooled with egg white.

Cut steam holes in the crust in a decorative pattern.

Bake in the lowest rack of your oven for 20 minutes.  Reduce the heat to 375ºF (190ºCº) and continue to bake another 25 minutes.

After removing it from the oven, allow the pie to rest for an hour and a half.

The result is going to be a crispy crust apple pie that has a strong apple flavor and only a slight sweetness.  Want it sweeter?  You can always serve it with a dollop of ice cream.

Now, to save the earth, let’s all take a deep breath and hold it all day…well, except for when you’re downing your second piece of environmentally friendly apple pie.